NS - The life lesson
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
So I've been putting off writing this last goodbye. It's been hard to collect my thoughts and process the experiences of the past 1 yr 10 mths. I've literally been dragged out of the simple, mundane and very sheltered life of school and plunged into the deep end of physical exhaustion, self discovery and moral dilemmas. Would I give up this experience for anything? No. No way.
To sum it up: I have learnt so much more about life then any other seasons of life. In many ways good and in many ways bad. Where the usual confines of rules and school based social circles have all but broken down, I've come to understand selfishness, lazyness, bullying, hatred, distrust, failure, anger, pride, emptiness, purposelessness, ungratefulness and heart ache. Each of these bear a lesson for me, an understanding of my relationship to the people around me. Where it is every man for himself and the most talented and more often than not, the most cunning survive. Call me naive but the world is a scary place. The flesh is indeed weak. We claw at every opportunity, every opponent, every advantage there is to preserve ourselves (there is nothing much to get ahead in army). We do so till both parties bleed. I know this now in ways I had not known previously. When one's superior is anything but demanding in an unreasonable way. When a person in a position of responsibility chooses to turn a blind eye to his duties. When 'it's not my problem' and 'I don't care' is every day talk. When 'office politics' is a term used to cover up personal grudges. When shouting at another person is permissible just because one is not in a good mood. When putting another person down is ok cause it's part of the culture. I'm sure these are the experiences of almost everyone who has served NS and I personally have been guilty of some of these myself. The ugliness of human nature
will always rear its head in society.
In the midst of so much depravity, I am heartened by the good things in life. Where friends are still there to care for each other. Where brotherhood is forged like nowhere else. Where people still believe (and i mean in action not words) in Professionalism and Discipline. I've had commanders who not only talk but walk the talk, especially in BMT and AFTC. I've experienced the warmth of being invited into the homes of people I hardly know and witnessed the graciousness of people helping each other through the tough training. Nothing beats the homeliness of gathering around a hot pot in the evening with friends and cleaning up together afterwards, ranks disregarded. There is a certain indescribable bond between those who share the little that they have, not only materially but also with whatever energy they have left, that makes NS all the more meaningful. It's the sacrifices I make and the sacrifices that people around me make that I cherish the most throughout this journey.
I have glaringly left out the 'lesson plan' of every stage of NS (the field camps, the manpacks, the rush to finish food, the insanely long classroom lessons, the Unit day to day chores) cause looking back, those were good memories, but they would have been meaningless, simply tasks, if not for the people I did them with. And army is really about the people you meet. Cause through it all, they define your experiences and everyone is also discovering something alongside you.
So thank you to everyone who has, whether consciously or unconsciously, thought me something about myself or about what it means to do the right thing. Hope we meet again!
God Bless,
Robogator
~In the silence...I'm waiting to hear your voice~
