What did I just type....
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
And so...I wanna get high and drunk on school again. I wanna have assignments piled high on my to do list, never ending streams of deadlines to groan and moan over. I wanna engage in impersonal idealistic conversations about the destitute and the oppressed and formulate elaborate schemes to unite the world and overcome men's differences. I wanna be re-attuned towards the need to study. Not because I am told that it is
completely necessary in conducting business or that it is the only way I can ever hope of landing a decent job...or a future...or the financial ability to own a car locally. But rather, I wanna know again that it is inadvertent that we study for the superficial reasons of competition and ego, to feel secure in the knowledge that of having climbed the dog's head and taken education by the leash, that I am the minority of the majority, the
summa cum laude. That the majority of the minority are still the minority anyway, so don't bother taking that path, Singapore will never make it to the World Cup.
Now I know I sound cynical and all. But honestly, one day I want to look back and say that University was all worth it. That I am a different, no better, man because of it. Maybe I am just taking a superficial view at this whole University thing, like the Coffee Shop Uncle talking about politics...or North Korea. Maybe education is superficial and experience and relationships and opportunities are more important in life. Heck, maybe I'm just superficially bored of the past two years of superficiality.
But I miss the superficiality of student life. In it's adult, judgmental and taboo form, it's called being idealistic. In it's kiddish, pure and untainted term, it's called freedom. Freedom to speak of life as it is, and to be understood without judgement. Freedom from making huge life changing decisions, that the only thing to worry of is How to do not What, Why, When and finally How to do.
I wanna be Free again.
~In the silence...I'm waiting to hear your voice~
